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Divorce Conversations for Women


Apr 19, 2019

“I was suffering in my marriage and I believe my partner was too. However, when I would talk about leaving, it was so scary to imagine what life would look like in the future.” Have you had a partner that would make you feel like you would not be able to financially support yourself and/or your kids if you left them? “I never imagined when I got married that it would end in divorce.”  You just don’t know what your future will look like and having the facts helps you make decisions for your future. Finding happiness in the core of who you are, allowing yourself to grieve through the process, and allowing yourself to find joy and a healthy mindset will pave the way to building your confidence. Women are good at making decisions if they have all the facts. Sometimes we feel it must be so terrible that we have no other option before we leave, but that is not always the case. We have choices.

In this episode, Julie talks about her journey of making the tough decisions in order to take back control in her life. By surrounding herself with objective experts that helped guide her through the process of leaving, Julie was able to make the tough decisions that ultimately led her to realize the greatest gift in all of it – feeling empowered, becoming a homeowner on her own, and creating new and amazing memories with her daughters in her own space.

A lot of times people are afraid to engage more than just their attorney in this process. However, it is valuable to have a different perspective, different areas of expertise that can come alongside you to help you through this process. At the end of the day, it is about what the money means versus what is in your bank account. Having the facts about your finances can make a huge difference and step-by-step, building up your confidence. You must be able to trust your gut. Interview your experts to find the ones that will listen to you and help you navigate through this time in your life. You deserve that. You do not have to go through this alone.

Julie Hoelle is a working mother, yogi and community volunteer. She has a walk-the-walk, talk-the-talk perspective on making the decision to divorce and allowing yourself the space to believe in yourself, to be happy, and to be financially confident.

In this episode, we discuss:

  • How to manage through the fear of leaving your marriage from a financial standpoint
  • How life will look post-divorce
  • Self-care and how to navigate and preserve what is important starts with making time for what is important to you
  • How seeking the RIGHT experts can help you through the tough decisions
  • The importance of understanding your own financial security
  • Knowing when to call it quits and finding the confidence to move forward
  • Closing out the noise
  • The importance of maintaining your support system
  • Being open to trusting that it will be okay. You do not need to go through this alone.

"If when we get into a difficult situation, our will or courage lessens, and we fall into the laziness of feeling inferior. Thinking that we could not possibly accomplish such a difficult task, this diminishment of will cannot protect us from any suffering. It is important to generate courage corresponding to the size of the difficulties." - Dalai Lama

We, as women, can do so much more than we give ourselves credit for. When we really need to dig down to fight for something that we truly believe in, we can do it.

Resources:

Top 3 Pitfalls to Avoid During Divorce eBook

10 Questions to Ask When Interviewing an Attorney

Julie Hoelle - Working Mother, Yogi, and Community Volunteer

 

Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts.

Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult.