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Disrupting Divorce: Conversations for Women

Aug 16, 2019

In this episode, we discuss:

  • How to position yourself to prepare for dating after divorce
  • How to set yourself up for success when you enter the dating arena
  • Tips on first dates

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Rhonda: Thank you so much for joining us for another episode. I am delighted to be able to have a very special guest on with us today. It's interesting because we are going to be talking about dating. You might be thinking, "Okay, Rhonda, I'm super overwhelmed and just really having a challenging time." This is probably one of the last things that you feel like you want to talk about. But as I was thinking about who to bring on, I really think that this is an important conversation. The reason for that is because when I started my business, gosh, five years ago, the why on why I was doing my business is actually different or a little different than the reason that I'm doing it today. The reason that I started my business was because, hey, I just really felt emotionally compelled to wanting to help people that were in a challenging spot. There were a lot of things that had, had happened in my childhood that I can relate to. The feeling of abandonment, the feeling of frustration, the feeling of overwhelm.

Rhonda: A lot of that came from my dad being an alcoholic and just seeing the dynamic that my parents had. Well, recently, I celebrated my 20th wedding anniversary and it's really prompted me to be thinking about my why. I believe that my why has shifted in a sense that I want women to really experience what I have. My husband, there isn't a day that he doesn't get up and say something complimentary like, "Hey, good morning beautiful, good morning whatever, right?" He's just a very kind, respectful, thoughtful person. It's prompted me after two decades to really reflect on where we're at, and I was not in that spot 20 years ago. I was a mess and the consistency that he has brought to my life has allowed me to be able to do what I'm doing. Really, Lori, the passion for this conversation comes from me wanting for other women what I have. Unfortunately, my husband doesn't have any brothers, so this is where you come in.

Lori: It's wonderful out there.

Rhonda: Thank you.

Lori: Yes, I'm the brother that you don't ever have.

Rhonda: That's right, you know. I want to introduce our listeners to Lori Mendelsohn and she is the owner and founder of SmartFunnySingle, and she has over 33 years in the fashion industry and 12 years as an award-winning entrepreneur. Thank you so much for joining us today.

Lori: Rhonda, it is so my pleasure and I also want to thank you, first of all, for having me on and giving me this opportunity to talk and share about experiences that I have gone through from divorce. Again, I want to thank you for your help in helping me get through that divorce and introducing me to someone who could help me in that path, my attorney. I don't know if you recall the day that we met, I stood up and I had just experienced domestic abuse for the first time and I knew that that was the pivotal point that my marriage was over, and I was scared. You walked up to me and you told me that you could help me, and I will never forget that moment because my head was just spinning and reeling, and I was so afraid and so discombobulated. I don't use that word that often and destabilized and you helped me at that moment. That was when I really needed help, I didn't know what to do. I was terrified, so thank you.

Rhonda: You are most welcome. Yeah, I do remember that, and I have goosebumps just having you share that because I remember exactly where we were.

Lori: Yeah. Well, I'd like to share what happened if I could. It'll just take a second.

Rhonda: Yeah.

Lori: I was invited by a mutual friend to a networking event, and every woman stood up and had a minute spiel about her business, and I stood up and I started to talk about my business. I said, "I experienced domestic abuse for the first time today. My husband just put his fist through the kitchen sink and hit it and I'm afraid that that's going to be my head and I don't know what to do, and I don't know if I can even go home." I started crying and it was a very powerful moment and you were there and, again, thank you.

Rhonda: I'm glad that you mentioned that because you are somebody, and I know that we haven't known each other for a really long time but we've known each other long enough that you get a really good sense of people. Here you are, an accomplished business owner, a woman who I think people really view as having her shit together. I don't even swear on my podcast.

Rhonda: You are a confident person, you'd have some really great successes in your business, right?

Lori: Yep, very successful.

Rhonda: Right and here you are feeling like, "Oh my gosh, everything's now unraveling or I'm feeling frustrated, I'm feeling afraid." The domestic violence piece of it doesn't see different barriers. Doesn't see economic barriers, doesn't... I mean, it surpasses all of those things. From a perspective, from an outside perspective in and not from what I see through this, but I think a lot of people will say, "Well she's going to have access to resources, she's resourceful, she's going to..." But in that moment, you're not thinking clearly. You maybe don't have all the resources that you need as you're going through divorce. Like you're focused on your business, and you know what, I think it's just an encouragement, I think, for women to say, "Hey, listen, it is okay when we find ourselves in that vulnerable spot, the question is what do we do with it?"

Lori: Right.

Rhonda: There's a quote by Kristin Armstrong, which is just one of my absolute favorites, which is "when you find yourself in a vulnerable spot, the best thing that you can do is surround yourself with the strongest, finest, most positive people that you can find." That has been something that I have built my business on over the last five years, I implicitly believe that that's true. Because you don't want to be taken advantage of, and it's just really important that you find that team of people that can come alongside and support you in whatever fashion that looks like, and whatever support that you feel like you need.

Lori: Agreed.

Rhonda: I think that that's just a really powerful testimony for the women that are listening that our feeling like overwhelmed or feel shame or feel sad or whatever, it's okay to feel those emotions. The question becomes, "Yeah, what are we going to do with it?"

Lori: Right. It's funny, after this whole thing happened and I went to my hairdresser, he used a very different quote which was Winston Churchill's which is "when you're in the middle of battle, you keep going." I'm one of those people who has pretty much been self-supportive, self-propelled that, "Well, I can figure all this out on my own. I really don't need any help." I found when I released that, that there are people who wanted to help me, it made things so much easier. That there is a weight and just sitting here talking to you about this, Rhonda, I just relaxed when I said that. I'm getting goosebumps now because when you release it, you allow others who want to help, help you and it gives them a gift as well and that's very powerful.

Rhonda: I remember you also mentioned to me something about you just felt like you were in the midst of trying to swim through murky waters. You kept trying... Do you remember telling me that?

Lori: Yes, but it was I felt like I was swimming through mud, and I felt like I was swimming through mud literally for about a year. After he moved out, after the divorce, after rebuilding, after figuring out, "Okay, I can't keep swimming in this pool, I need to see daylight again. I need to get myself out of this."

Rhonda: Yeah. We've said this on other podcasts too, it's like women have told me, and I'm sure that you would attest this too, it's like nobody would even wish this on their worst enemy. It is by far one of the most challenging things that people have to go through, and especially, for women. Not just women, but we have our own unique set of challenges that come with us. I think it's exciting to see that you are on the other side of it and now you have within the last, what has it been, last year or so?

Lori: Yes.

Rhonda: Been doing your own business?

Lori: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Rhonda: Tell us a little bit about that journey and how you got to this place now and then we'll dive into some tips on dating?

Lori: Sure. Speaking about going through divorce myself, so a little bit of background. This was my third marriage, and this was the marriage that I really wanted to last my lifetime. To me, divorce wasn't ever going to be an option, but it started unraveling to the point that we were just two people living in the same household. I had a sense that something was up with him but, of course, he denied it. We went for therapy and our journey together was, "Well, let's try to work it out." But I realized afterwards that I was the one who wanted to work it out because he had other things going on in the background. But I, at the time of our marriage, I had transitioned from a 33-year fashion career where I was designing for a lot of very large companies in New York and LA. The company that I was working for, New Berlin, Wisconsin, closed the division that I was heading up and designing.

Lori: It was at the height of the recession in 2008 and I started a dog walking business. There were no jobs to be had, and I figured, "Okay, well if I'm going to be miserable, I may as well be around animals." I started walking dog and over the course of nine and a half years, built the business to be the largest and highest awarded in the State of Wisconsin. I had 30 employees at one time, and we had about 4500 active clients.

Rhonda: Wow.

Lori: It turned out to be quite a large business. During the course of that, I lost sight of things that were important in the marriage, spending time, but here I was building, building, building, and trying to build something for our future together. I realized I had a big part in the divorce, but I didn't think that it would end on a violent act, and I certainly that never even came into my realm. He moved out. I went through the darkest days of my life. There were days that if I didn't have dogs, I wouldn't have gotten out of bed. I wouldn't have moved. I would have taken my sheets and covered my entire body and probably had people come over and bring food or ordered food. But I had to go through it to get over it and people were saying, "Well, you should start dating." I'm like, "That's the last thing I want to do." I didn't even want to get near a man. I didn't want to be touched; I didn't want to be held. I just I wanted to die Rhonda, I really was that sad.

Lori: I felt like God I really failed. I did so much self-blame. If only I hadn't had this business, we'd be happy now. I was in therapy the entire time and I realized, eventually, it was only 50% my fault. He needed to lean in too, he needed to work at it as much as I did. I don't want to position this man as a complete asshole, just a partial one. But it took me about a year and a couple of months to say, "You know what, okay, I'm ready to just start jumping in the water, putting my big toe in the water and seeing what it's like." I went online, I couldn't do it, I couldn't ever go out with someone. I'd make dates and I'd break them. I just couldn't get myself to do it. Then one day my best friend, I encouraged her to go online. She was about as afraid as I was. She saw someone online for me and she contacted him and said I'm not good for you, but I think that my best friend is going to be perfect for you.

Lori: We went out and we had some magical dates together and it didn't work out. But it opened me up and it made me realize that, "Yeah, you know what, there's life again. There is fun to be had. There are interesting people out there." Even though I am scared, and I'll say the word again, shitless, I'm going to keep going. The more that I dated, the more that I realized it's not about... This is something that I always had trouble with, was self-worth. I realized I'm not going to position this anymore like, "Oh, God, I'm so lucky to be going out with this man." I now pivoted it to, "Okay, what does this man offer me that I want and need in my next relationship?" I completely did 180 on going from, "oh, well, he liked me." And singing that song, It must be him, oh my god..." You know, the Vikki Carr song to does this person really add value to my life?

Lori: Because now I've gone through hell and back and now, I'm confident in who I am, what I can offer, what I bring, what value I have, does that person fit into what I need and want? That's what I'm hoping, every woman who is listening to this or maybe going through this can get to that point. Because until you get to that point, you're always putting yourself in a very vulnerable position. Dating is vulnerable enough, it's emotional. It's you have to get yourself prepared emotionally, physically. It's like going on a job interview a lot of the time, but the more you do it, it's really truly a numbers game. The more you do it, the easier it becomes and the more focused you become on what it is that you want and need.

Rhonda: Yeah, absolutely. I love that, I love that perspective.

Lori: Thank you.

Rhonda: Yeah, I think it's healthy, I think it's good, and so okay. I just want to-

Lori: Rhonda, I want to share, let me just interrupt you one sec. Recently, I've been speaking to a couple, they're a couple and they're also couples’ therapists and I asked her... She recently went through a divorce and now she's remarried to her business partner, "How many dates did you go on?" She said, "I went on 157 dates." My response was, "I'd rather swallow bugs but how did you do it?" She said, "Around date 75, I pivoted, and I pivoted to the point where I looked at this person in a very different way, and getting back to what value does this person bring to me?" That's what I would love everyone to get to.

Rhonda: Oh my gosh, absolutely, absolutely. Gosh, that's so good. What I was going to ask you was, okay, so it's different, right? Like dating when you're a middle-aged woman than when we were in our 20s.

Lori: Exactly, yeah.

Rhonda: Right?

Lori: It's a little bit different, yeah.

Rhonda: Okay. Let's just have a little bit of fun here. I would love for you to share what has been like the most interesting, crazy situation that you've experienced so far? Because I know that you have some.

Lori: Okay, I do, I do. All of my single girlfriends we could all compile a book and I'm sure that there are millions of women out there who say, "Oh my god, I need to write a book about this dating experience." But two of them come to mind. One of them was about a month ago, and I'm on the dating app called Bumble and I met someone who is a professor at Northwestern University, so he's smart and has a good job. He's also an inventor and he invented a tool, and I won't go into the name to protect the innocent. But he invented a tool where he built a multi-million-dollar business, and during the entire date, the only question that he asked me was so what did you do today? But that was after him speaking about himself for about an hour to an hour and a half about the production process from concept of a tool into delivery into the warehouse.

Lori: We talked about not, "Can you tell me where you're from? What kind of music do you like? What's your best vacation ever? What's a weekend like for you? What's your favorite thing to do?" We talked about the production, planning, execution, tooling, costing, negotiating process of developing a tool. Okay, that's one and that's sexy. I got to tell you, that had me going. The other one was a guy and I think that he had mental illness, and since I'm not a mental health professional, I can't diagnose what was wrong. But I've got a lot of energy and I'm pretty vibrant and I was asking a lot of typical date questions. He kept saying, "Lori, slow down, I can't keep up with you." I said, "Well, what part can't you handle?" He said, "I can only handle one question at a time so just slow down. I don't want you to do multiple questions. But, Lori, if you could position it like, "What is your favorite food?" And then wait for my answer and then we'll go on."

Lori: Okay, I'm thinking, "Okay, well, this is going to go really well." He kept staring at me, Rhonda, it was like uncanny and unnerving like, "What are you looking at? Why don't you just take a picture of me for God's sakes?" But you can tell how it went. The pièce de résistance was he grabbed my index finger on my right hand, the dessert arrived, he grabbed my index finger on my right hand, stuck it in the middle of the dessert, pulled it out and looked at me and said to me, "Can I lick your finger?"

Rhonda: Crazy.

Lori: The couple at the next table they were looking at me like announcing, "Do you need help?" Yeah, it was pretty creepy, pretty creepy. The biggest challenge that I see is that, look, everyone likes to speak about himself or herself but it's a date, it's two people. It's not a lecture, so that's a big deal. There has to be a back and forth and a conversation versus a lecture where it's flirtation.

Rhonda: Right, absolutely. No, absolutely. Oh my gosh.

Lori: I could come up with more if you want more but those are two that really stand out to me that... My ex-husband didn't even ever say something like, "Can I lick your finger?" It was just creepy, creepy, creepy. I do have another one. Not a date, but I was walking my dogs and this guy pulled up next to me and he said, "I think you're one of the most attractive women I've ever seen." I'm like, "Yeah, I look great at 6:15 with no makeup on. I just threw my clothes on to walk my dog." He said, "I know where you're from and I know you live in the area. Sometimes I drive around looking for you."

Rhonda: What?

Lori: Yeah, so creepy. There's a lot of creeps out there, but well I also want to say thank God there are some really wonderful men out there and really wonderful men in the Milwaukee area. There are, that please ladies do not say there's no good man, there are plenty of them. Plenty.

Rhonda: Yeah. Oh, absolutely, for sure. It's just a matter of weeding through and going on, hopefully, not 150 dates. That's just insane.

Lori: Yeah, it is, it is, but she met a fabulous guy, so it was worth every one of those experiences.

Rhonda: Right. Well, so I know we've touched on this a little bit but so for the women to be able to prepare for dating after divorce, anything else you want to add to the experience that we've talked about so far?

Lori: Absolutely. Something that really helped me was, and I made this mistake when I first started dating again after this divorce, was I started looking at it like, "Okay, I'm going to go out and I'm going to meet my next serious relationship." I didn't look at it in the way that I needed to look at it, which is two things. I'm going out because I want to meet someone and have fun, and I want to spend an hour or two or three getting to know someone and sharing an experience, having a drink, having a cup of coffee, learning about his life. I was so dialed in that, "Okay, I'm on a mission now." Which is pretty much me, I'm always on a mission. I'm going to find my next relationship. That doesn't work because people pick up on that for one thing, it shows desperation. But instead what I learned to do, and it took a while for me to do this and so that's why I went on so many dates was just relax and enjoy and let it flow and see if this person fits for me?

Lori: Do I like spending two hours with this person? If you answer yes then, "Okay, you can enjoy another two hours," and get to know this person before you decide that, "Okay, he's the one." You don't know someone who's the one until, I'm going to say, a good year. Going through every season, and a lot of therapists talk about this also. That you need to see people in every single light, not just dating, in emergency situations, in family upheaval, a death, an illness, a crisis. You need to see how those people respond and react. Do they step up to the plate? Do they lean in? Again, what do they offer you?

Rhonda: Right. Well, and I have to say, I'm so glad that you're bringing that up because I've been working with a couple women right now that I'm starting to notice a trend. I was like, "Okay, this is interesting." Several of women that I've chatted with recently have, probably within the last one to three years, lost a parent. What has happened is it has created a lot of discourse and challenge and, yeah, I guess challenges for their marriage. Quite frankly, I always think, "Well, there probably were challenges before, and this just exacerbated that." But I was surprised on how much that's impacting their relationship, whether it's their husband isn't stepping up, they don't feel like they're listening, they aren't... whatever it is, it's just really amplifying already existing challenges.

Lori: Yeah.

Rhonda: I'm glad that that's part of the awareness piece to get to know somebody, and how do they deal with those challenges?

Lori: Right, right, and we can't make these snap decisions that he fits all of it. Let's say that you make a list of your must haves and then the things that you want, if he fits all of those categories, okay, that's great. But it takes time to really deep down get to know, trust, and love someone. Physical attraction, we all know it's great, it's magical, it's euphoric. But there's so much more because that fades, looks fade. It's that deep, deep connection that we all want.

Rhonda: Yeah, absolutely. That's awesome. Let's keep that in mind as we move on to, okay, how do women set themselves up for success when they are ready to start entering that dating arena?

Lori: Okay, so it is, first of all, you present your best self. You do not talk about, when you go on a date, you do not talk about your past. The person sitting across is not supposed to be your therapist. You just don't do it, you save it for your therapist. You remain open, you remain inquisitive, it's almost like, we as children, when we wanted to learn, we were so apt to be open to receive. I think it's important to position yourself to receive, to learn, to see, to grow, and to not get your hopes up that this person is going to be my next relationship. Let it evolve, let it flow. If it's going to happen, it will.

Rhonda: Yeah, I love that.

Lori: And get yourself prepared physically. Really, I would love every woman listening to this to just get, when she goes on that date, just when you're looking at yourself in the mirror, you just say to yourself, "I got this. I am hot, I am a value, I am worthy of this, of this happiness." Have some talk, have a talk with yourself. A pep talk.

Rhonda: Yeah, absolutely. I think, too, this is a great opportunity for women to also engage in self-care. It's like, "Okay, you know what, gosh, if you need to go and get your hair cut or freshen up your hair or put in some highlights or whatever." Or, start working out. At the end of the day, it is about how do you feel about yourself? We could have an entire philosophical conversation about where does that confidence start? But I think the more that we feel better about ourselves, because we're taking care of ourselves, the more we're going to exude that confidence. Yeah, I think that's absolutely important. Let's also talk about for the women that are going to be maybe posting photos on the dating sites or whatever, what are some things that maybe they need to be thinking about in that realm as well as far as, again, putting their best self forward?

Lori: I think the best advice that I can give on that is present your best self. If you really are seriously interested in finding someone and starting to date, get some great pictures. Don't do bathroom selfies, don't have pictures with your entire family on them, do not have pictures with your grandkids, your sister, your ex-husband, do not post pictures that have arms hanging over you. Show yourself, it's almost as if you're going to go on LinkedIn and you want to have that perfect headshot. You also want to have some really great pictures representing what you look like in a variety of positions. I don't mean positions like if you're a CEO, you have your suit on and your arms crossed. Because that represents, you're not open. But put your best foot forward, get some great pictures, and in your biography, make it fun, make it unique and make it very different so you stand out.

Lori: I have a lot of guy friends who are on these dating apps too, and a lot of women go down that slippery slope of the position is that they're holding the camera up above their head, so they get their cleavage. That really positions you in a way that you're like, "Okay. Either you're trying to sell yourself or you're showing desperation that I want you to like me because I have big boobs or I'm sexy." The guys who I know who see those are like, "Oh, god, that's just a complete turnoff." If they're looking for something else, okay, that's one thing. But there should be a level of dignity and sophistication.

Rhonda: Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.

Lori: Yeah, and not drinking with the girls either unless that's who you are. If you like to go to bars and get smashed, Okay, great, put that on your dating profile. But I don't think that that's, the people who are listening to this, I don't think that's their jam.

Rhonda: Yeah, absolutely. Oh, my goodness, yeah, that is good advice. Gosh, we've covered so much.

Lori: We have.

Rhonda: Okay, this is awesome.

Lori: Yes, we have.

Rhonda: Okay, let's keep going. Okay. Tips on first dates, give us some insight on that?

Lori: Okay, so the first date should last a maximum of two hours. Now, Rhonda, I have to admit I say one thing and I do another. So, ladies, please listen, the first date should be number one at a public place, either coffee or a drink. What you do is you let someone who you know who's close to you know where you're going. You check-in when you get there and when you're finished with your date, you check back with them. I also suggest getting there a little bit early and let the manager of the restaurant or the bar know that you're alone, know that you're on a date. Could they kind of keep an eye on you? Just a little extra safety never hurts anyone. Typical first eight questions should be... Let me start with what they shouldn't be, they should not be an opportunity for you to bash your ex-husband and talk about how horrible he was and what he did to you and how he took all your money.

Lori: You don't talk about that. You talk about your interest, you talk about places that you've traveled, maybe where you'd like to go, what you enjoy doing. You can talk about your family, you can talk about your upbringing, your education, possibly what you're looking for. I don't mean to go down the hole of, "Okay, here's what I'm looking for." Kind of like a job interview, "I'm looking for someone who does this, this, this, and this." Okay, well, ladies, you do not do that. What you can say is, "Eventually, one day I would love to be back in a committed relationship." You can state your intentions, but that's it. It should be fun, it should... I'm going to use the word flirty because flirty is okay if you're attracted to the person you can be flirty. But don't go to bed with this person on the first date. Keep it very short, keep it fun, light, and the first date should be a preparation for what you want the second date to be.

Lori: You always want to leave a dangling carrot where someone wants to know more about you that, "God, Susan, you're fascinating. I want to know more about you. When can I see you again?" Men love, I hate to say it, but men love a chase. Someone who gives things away so easily, they're not interested in, but they want someone who is interesting and busy. They want to be able to go after you. So, keep it light, fun, and short.

Rhonda: Awesome. And then how do you transition into, "Hey, this was a good situation and I'd like to meet again?"

Lori: I think what you just said is fine, Rhonda. I went on a date on Saturday and I said to him, I said, "I really enjoyed your company, I think you're a great person, and I think you're absolutely adorable." I said, "I'd love to see you again. With that information, do and think what you want but I'd love to see you again." Then he contacted me the next day because it's also cementing to someone, "I really like you," because men always complain, "I don't know what she was telling me." Women, they say one thing and then they're thinking another, or they do another. It's like, "Can we please figure out this girl code? I don't get it." I think being honest is a really great thing, but if you don't like this person, please do not say that. All you have to say is, "It was a pleasure meeting you, thank you for your time this evening or this afternoon." That's all you need to do.

Rhonda: Yep, that's great. That's awesome. We've talked about how to position yourself as women are preparing after divorce for dating, how to set themselves up for success and some tips on the first date. Typically, as we wrap up our podcast interview, there are always two things I like to end with. One is a favorite quote and the second thing is a client success story. Why don't we start with the client success story?

Lori: Okay, so my most recent client success story is I have a gentleman client who came to me and he needed some fine-tuning. In that fine-tuning, he needed a new haircut, he needed rebranding in his wardrobe. He had something on his face that he had lived with his entire life, that it was really kind of bothering him. I suggested to him, "Have you ever thought of having this looked at and potentially removed?" We rebranded him, we went shopping, we did a whole wardrobe change, he went on in the third org to get his hair done. He felt in this first date that he was doing it. It goes both ways, for men feeling this way and also for women feeling this way, feeling confident in who they are and how they look and how they're presenting themselves.

Lori: I was very proud of him making this transition. He went out with two women who I introduced him to, and then the third time's a charm. I met this woman at a store, and I went up to her and I said, "I know this is going to sound really weird. I'm not hitting on you, but I'm a matchmaker and I have someone I'd like to introduce you to. I just have this sense." Rhonda, that's what I do. People, I just go up to random people and I start talking to them. But she said, "Well, I'd like to learn more. I had coffee with her, got to know her and cemented that, "Yes, I thought that these two would be good together." So long story short, they're smitten both in love, crazy about each other. I don't know if it's heading for marriage because it's only been three months now, but they are smitten kittens and as happy as clams. That's a success story.

Rhonda: That's awesome.

Lori: I have 15 marriages, not me, I haven't been married 15 times, but I have 15 marriages under my belt where I've gone up to people and, "I know someone for you."

Rhonda: Wow, that's awesome.

Lori: It's intuitive, yeah.

Rhonda: Wow, and so-

Lori: What was the second part of the question?

Rhonda: The second part is what's your favorite quote for this topic?

Lori: Oh, well, my favorite quote of all time is always it's Maya Angelou and it's, "People will not remember what you said," and I'm paraphrasing, and please forgive me, "People will not remember the words that you said or the words that you use, but they will remember the way that you made them feel." That's something that I lead with in life is I always try to help people make them feel better, and in the dating round, when you're dating, you don't have to be ugly. Not everyone is for everyone, it's not always going to work. But you want to leave it for the relationship being a bigger person, in my opinion. Being that sophisticated, kind heart that you want to lead with, and make that person feel that they're a good human being. Not every person is destined for a long-term relationship or marriage, and that's something really in top of mind. That not everyone who you go out with, it's not always going to end happily. But be a mensch about it, be that kind, good soul that you want to have to be in your life.

Rhonda: Yeah, absolutely. Well, this is awesome, and I have really enjoyed our time together and I know that our listeners have enjoyed our time together too.

Lori: Thank you, me too, Rhonda. Thank you so much, so much.

Rhonda: This has been so fun. Certainly, people can check out your website at, and your special offer for our listeners is for those locals here in the Greater Milwaukee area, hey, let's grab a cup of coffee. For those people that maybe are listening that aren't in the area, certainly you're welcome, they're welcome to reach out to you and maybe you guys can do some virtual coffee stuff. But I just want to thank you for your time today sharing your heart, your story, and your expertise with the women who need us most.

Lori: Thank you, Rhonda. It has been my pleasure and such a true gift from you. Thank you.


QUOTE: “It’s a numbers game. The more you date, the easier it becomes.”

SPECIAL OFFER: Mention this podcast to enjoy a cup of coffee together and get to know each other!


Lori Mendelsohn

Owner | Founder


Racine, WI

(262) 264-9653

LinkedIn | Facebook

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