EP17: Divorce Doesn't Define Us with Dori Pulse

Aug 3, 2018

Going through divorce is a very powerful experience that shapes our characters. It is a time when we are tested to the core, challenged, and prepared for something greater. But divorce does not define us. Divorce is an event that we go through in life.

Today’s guest is Dori Pulse, the founder of Girl for God Ministries and author of Everything Changed When I Said 'I Do'. She has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology and Theology, is a part of a step family for almost 20 years, facilitates divorce care programs at churches, a coach, a Stephen Minister, servant leader, and knows how it is to be in your shoes being married and divorced twice herself.

We touch on so many topics which can actually be separate episodes or multi-day workshops. This episode is so insightful, inspiring, and uplifting.

Here are some things we discussed:

• Divorce is the time to be extremely selfish. You need to take care of yourself first, so you can turn and take  care of your children and the people around you
• Setting boundaries is very powerful. It all starts with being very clear about your values and what's important to you, setting these boundaries, communicating them, and most importantly enforcing them. Nobody knows our boundaries unless we tell them what they are. We're the only ones who can decide what those boundaries are for us.
• It is important to have accountability partners. Godly accountability can come in and give you fresh ideas that can help you see a different twist on things, will hold you accountable, be there to listen without judgement, and would always have your best interest in mind.
• Have a positive personal recorder. The only thing we can control is ourselves. During divorce when we doubt ourselves and are immersed in a lot of negativity, having positive self talk is extremely important.
• Spend a lot of time in scripture. When our strength is depleted, we can always rely on scripture to help us get by. “I am God's creation. I am his. He has a plan for me. There is no other man, but Jesus.”
• Always be reminded of your gifts and talents. Journaling is one way  to bring them to our conscious mind and be aware of them. When you know your strengths, you have the opportunity to be able to utilize and strengthen them.
• The power of silence. This does not mean allowing and staying in an abusive situation but walking away, hanging up the phone, not responding to texts, not having to prove anything and not letting anyone press your buttons.

Going through divorce is tough. It takes time and an entire community of people to come alongside and support you. And women come out of the other side personally, sometimes professionally, spiritually, emotionally, stronger than when they started the process.

Divorce is a long journey, and you need to get all the support you require. That is the intention of Women's Financial Wellness Center. We provide support and can direct you to all of the people that you would need through the divorce process - Attorneys, CPAs, therapists, etc. We’ll help you find the team of people that can support you.

Resources Mentioned:

 

Everything Changed When I Said 'I Do' on Amazon

www.divorcecare.org

Recommended Bible Verses: Psalm 119 and Philippians 4:13

 

Dori Pulse

Girl for God Ministries

360.430.1444

[e-mail]

www.stepfamilyrx.com

 

 

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